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“But the minute you pushed through my hymen, we both knew what it was supposed to mean. Consciously, that is. We both knew subconsciously before that.”“You believed making love meant we were permanent?”“Once we started, it kind of became obvious, didn’t it?”“Yes.”“And once we broke up, it couldn’t mean that, and Emmy and Becky just reinforced that in your mind. Which let you be with Nancy and Melody without that kind of commitment. Our breakup caused a complete change in your. She and her sisters did have some good times and great conversations although it was sometimes strange, older girls, young women actually yet she was more sexually experienced than either of them; she kept her secrets.All of them were looking forward to Saturday and the party, Dad was having it catered although the strongest drinks available would be beer and wine for those that were “of age,” there were plenty of other things to titillate the tongue and palette, and, of course, not to be. Christi patiently taught me that her rich and variedsex life was no threat to our relationship. Shesoothed my male ego and insecurity with her obviousardor whenever we coupled. Her gentle reassuringdiscussions and demonstrations helped me to realizehow her sexual variety actually enriched ourrelationship. I recognized that I was often extraaroused when she had recently been fucked by anotherpartner. Christi explained that was a natural male reactionoften referred to as “sperm. Perhaps the machine was not crafted on the blueprint she imagined, but recall she had stopped going to church long ago, so her universe held no candidate who could have imparted any other goal to the programming.The second possibility, and this she took more seriously, was that even our most platonic reveries are reproductive in some hidden way. Freud’s fallen out of fashion, natch, but she can’t help but think this is a little unfair. He had a keen eye, and maybe he misdiagnosed how our.
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