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He finished me off and left.I started to consider myself as bi-curious rather than straight. I still preferred women but why can’t you have both.I continued to be a regular at the ABS and after that another time stuck in my mind. I was in the booth with the door just open when this guy came into the booth. He started kissing me, my first time kissing another man and he said that he had a van out in the parking lot and would I like to go there. I figured what the hell and followed him out to the. I’m pretty sure at that point, she recognized me.“So...Do you have a girl friend?” she inquired.“Yes,” I replied. A few seconds passed. She propped her sunglasses up on her head and looked over at me.“Would you like to go up to my apartment and get a drink?” she asked.“As long as you don’t force me to not talk,” I replied. It was a slight reference comment to the fact that she would not let me talk when I was at the strip club a few weeks prior.She slipped her arm under mine and we walked the. ‘Once tightly secured I was asked weather I agree to take my punishment. I was told I could be released and walk away. But the evidence would be shown to Tony and my parents.Or I could agree and that would be the end of it. So I nodded that I would take my deserved punishment. She then slipped off a kind of dress and this revealed Julia in a leather Basque with stockings and a thong. The Basque extenuated her bust making them enormous. She told me I would be blindfolded and once the punishment. You feel bad, you cut. You feel bad about cutting, you start to feel worse. And you cut again. And it keeps on going, and going, and going... It’s very hard to explain and incredibly difficult for people to comprehend but hurting yourself is very addictive. I have no idea why but that’s the only word that I can find to at least try to explain. People often mistake is as a suicide attempt but that’s just because the most common place to cut is arms. It’s not about dying, it really isn’t. .
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