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She kissed him as if she was an old soul and as if she had already kissed him thousands of times before. Only, not wanting to go to jail, she looked so young, too young for a 25-year-old man to be tempted by jailbait and to be charged with statutory rape. He hoped to God that she was at least 18-years-old. He remembered that he couldn’t stop himself from having the thought of why someone like her would fall for someone like him? Suddenly he panicked. Maybe that’s why she’s acting so sexually. There will be more. Right now, I want you to go home and put on short skirts. You may also apply lotion to your gorgeous bright red asses. I then want you to go to the Starbucks a block from the condo and I want you to exhibit yourselves to as many men as you can. Do not reveal that your revelations are intentional, nor will you explain to anyone why you are humiliating yourselves. I will want a full report when I get home. I will call you when it is time to come home.”Cindy and Elsa both. I jumped for a kiss on the lips. She kissed back, looked at me and off she went. Not enough attraction, I thought to myself and made myself on my way home.Of course, the phone number wasn't the real phone number. She wanted to get rid of me or, more probable, she was just too drunk to remember her real number. The next day I convinced myself that texting that number would be an absolute waste of time. I am a rational fellow, I thought to myself. Clearly nothing was there. It would be even. But I don’t have a fridge, and so sometimes I play the game of roulette known as “will this last long enough to be my dinner tomorrow?”Tonight I lost.Throwing it out, I was surprised to find an egg in the cupboard - it didn’t seem like it was going to kill me, and so I put it on to boil (exciting dinner, I know) and counted up my pay for the night.That son of a bitch.Marty’s always been sketchy, but he’s at least been reliably sketchy. Like I can 100% rely on the fact that as soon as we get a.
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