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I offered up a few lame excuses, and she finally said, "Oh, are you too big for your mother to help you out?" and started tickling my sides and armpits. With me in this vulnerable state, she physically started to roll me over. I ended up on my back and her eyes went straight for my crotch. She stopped moving all together and muttered, almost to herself, "Oh..oh my, yes, you are big." She looked back up at my eyes and turned bright red. "Oh Matt, oh god, I'm so sorry. What have I done?" She. The neighbors across the mountains probably understood, too. I signalled her to be quiet. She understood and shut off her alert siren.I switched on the handset and said, "It's me. What's wrong?"It was Mandy. "That's what I was calling to ask you." Is this going to be another one of those calls, or do you plan on making sense sometime before sunrise?" Before Mandy could answer, I heard a choking sound from the bathroom as Cheryl tried to hold back a laugh."I had this feeling that something was. There's no bouncer, no sign saying "Y Chromosomes Stop Here" outside the door. I suspect men do come in from time to time, maybe have a beer, then figure out that they don't belong and leave. But, it's not a lesbian bar. There are no lesbian bars out here. It's just a place that men don't belong.Outside, it's brisk, just cold enough to crinkle my nipples through the thin fabric of my blouse. Inside, it's much warmer, hot even, from the press of bodies. People seem comfortable enough hanging. I ordered a fifth of whiskey and a glass and sat and drank. I had finished the first fifth and started on the second when two local officers came in the door. They checked out the bar and left so I figured they were just on their rounds. I was sitting at the table about half passed out when I realized there were three women standing at my table looking down at me. I looked up and there stood my girls, looking mad enough to beat the hell out of me if I was able to talk. Fortunately I was too.
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