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Van der Meer left. Kara was exhausted and went right up to bed while Joyce and I cleaned up the kitchen. I made tea, and we sat with Mrs. Blanchard in the living room to unwind.“Are you doing OK?” I asked.“As well as can be expected, I guess,” Nancy Blanchard said. “At some point, I’m sure this is all going to hit me. Right now, I guess I’m just numb.”“Can I do anything for you?” I asked.She smiled, “Just what you’re doing — taking care of Kara and being here for both of us.”“I spoke with. I promised myself that I would keep alert to the opportunities for escapism from now on.I had just stepped out of the shower and had stepped into my bedroom to finish toweling off when there was a soft knock and the door opened a few inches. I stopped with the towel against my breasts by reflex; even though there wasn't anyone who would be peeking into my room that I would mind seeing me naked. Not this time of the morning, anyway.When the door stopped after opening about six inches and no one. In college, the best was my gay boyfriend who used to call me a "heat-seeking missile" because I almost always ended up on top of him in the middle of the night. My ex-husband wasn't much for tenderness, but my kids love to cuddle just like me."And I missed falling asleep with you," he said evenly.I missed making love with you, I thought, but the words wouldn't come out of my mouth.As we lay there, I wondered how long he had been watching me sleep. His blue eyes were hypnotic. I could have very. I had to go and fall in love with a TEACHER - a FEMALE teacher, for God's sake!But God! I never dreamed of the torture being in her class would heap upon me! Every day is like a knife twisting in my guts as I wander, oblivious, through the rest of my schoolday, living only for third period. For art class. For HER art class! Then I'm there, and it's even worse!Her face, her presence, her voice, her scent permeate the atmosphere around me, and I can do nothing about it! To top it off, I'm cursed.
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