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My first wife, Jenny, became pregnant. After which, she promptly ran off with the baby's father.A divorce and five years later, I married my second wife Mona. Ten years into that relationship, out of the blue, Mona started harping on me about how unfulfilled she felt as a woman. At the time, I thought it had something to do with the fact that she wanted to have a baby.I tried for the next two years to give her one. As things went, after more failed attempts than I can count, Mona began accusing. It had been more than three months since she’d been exiled. Now, she lived alone on a dead, baked world. She actually told him she was happy with her life there – that she enjoyed the challenges of surviving in a barren, hostile wasteland where the sun cooks everything to a nice even hundred and thirty degrees Fahrenheit every day. Extreme living, she’d called it. He sat up on the bed, wondering if she’d really appeared to him, or if he’d dreamed it.“Both,” a female voice said from the doorway. As each period passed, the bake sale tables started to look more and moreready for the lunch crowd, and finally, everything was ready.I actually had fun helping sell the cakes and cookies the girls had made,but just before lunch, the screaming started ...I opened the door to the cafeteria, and saw that a food fight hadstarted.But not your normal food fight.In this food fight, the food was doing the fighting ...Honest. There were several piles of food that had taken on humanoid shapeand were. She came back a couple of times over the next two weeks and we talked more about rocks and a few other innocuous things. And I liked her more. She came in on Sunday the first time and two Wednesdays later it was very slow and she hung around until I was closing. We had talked and I knew her name, that she was forty-five (shit, she looked thirty-five), no kids, she'd been married once but no current husband or boyfriend. She was wearing a slinky dress that really showed off her body, very nice..
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